lost a battle with lung cancer and sadly passed away in L.A. on Sep 25,
Max once saved my life. Okay, I exaggerate, but only slightly. There was a time in
the 80s when
my spirits were seriously low. Nothing would take away the feeling of
hopelessness. The future, the past, children, dogs, music, women, the memory of a cold beer on a hot afternoon. There was just no happy place my mind could
travel to. Alone on an interstate train one night, it hit hardest.
Every thought I entertained just made things worse.
Then I thought of Agent 86 of Control. A glimmer of hope appeared, a burst of colour on a grey canvas. I immediately tried to hold that thought and block out all others. It
started working! Now, with some desperation I tried to keep focused on
good old Max. I managed to step line-by-line through entire episodes, in
due course smiling to myself, feeling warm again after a long, long time.
This was good. Life wasn't so bad. Señor Yarmy, wherever you are, thank you.
While Don enjoyed a long and varied career he will forever be
remembered as Maxwell Smart, Agent 86. No one else could have
played the character. With a swagger, cocky smile, and unique voice he lived the part of the endlessly funny secret agent. Max was a
combination of Mel Brooks and Buck Henry's imagination, and Don Adams established comedy routines. Maxwell
Smart, secret agent and lady killer, had an unshakeable, unjustified faith in his own abilities (only Larrabee dared challenge his throne).
The simplest of lines, the most innocuous of looks, shamelessly repeated, some of them not even making any sense,
could have us smiling broadly and filled with a pleasant feeling of well being. Who did not take pleasure in
such as: 'Missed it by that much', 'Sorry about that chief', 'I hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about the ugly brute', 'If only he'd used his genius for niceness instead of evil', 'That's the second biggest
tomahawk I've ever seen', 'Ah the old false lips trick. That's
the second time I've fallen for that this week', 'Would you believe two angry boy scouts in a rubber dinghy?', 'Control rules state we must
use the cone of silence', 'I asked you not to tell me that', 'Good thinking
|| '...and LOVING IT!'
I sure hope I shot the right one of me" (Maxwell Smart, 1967)
"Ahhhh...the old false hands in the chains trick."--Maxwell Smart
Max: Give me one good reason why he couldn't be the killer'
Chief: He's been dead for four years.
Max: Chief, I asked you to give me a good reason, not a fantastic
Chief: Max, you realize that you'll be facing
every kind of
Max: And... loving it.
Chief: Max, I don't know what I'm going to do about you. You
bungle assignment after assignment.
Max: I resent that, Chief.
Chief: Do you deny it?
Max: No, but I resent it.
Chief: There's no telling where they'll be able to infiltrate
next. May be even the Pentagon.
Max: You're right, Chief. But even if they do get a man into the
Pentagon, that's not saying he'll be able to get out. I remember one of
our own agents was lost in there for three days.
Chief: Three days? Max, no agent could be that confused.
Max: Well, let me see. I went in on a Friday...
Senator: Mr. Smart, how many arrests did Control make last year?
Smart: I don't know.
Senator: Who's the number one man in your organization?
Smart: I don't know.
Senator: How many cases were assigned to Control last year?
Smart: I don't know.
Senator: What would you do if you were fired, Mr. Smart?
Smart: They can't fire me. I know too much.
Max: You can't do that, Chief. Hymie's my friend.
Chief: Your friend busted into my office, said he was going to
kill me, smashed my desk to pieces, and almost strangled me with his
Max: Well, I said he was my friend, not yours.
Siegfried: This is Kaos. We don't *shush* here!
CRAW: Go to the Fremont Hotel. When Ling Hao arrives, kill him.
Get the shirt and leave this half laundry ticket behind. Now do you have
BOBO: Yes, master. Just give me that last part again.
CRAW: Which part?
BOBO: The part after “It’s very simple.”
CRAW: Oh, Bobo...
Hoo: Moment prease.
Max: Moment prease?
Hoo: Once again worthy CONTROL agent leap at too obvious a
conclusion. If victim were non-smoker, there could have been two smokers
in the room with him.
Max: Well, that’s true.
Hoo: Perhaps two smokers and one non-smoker.
MaxX: Moment please.
Hoo: Moment please?
Max: Perhaps there were two smokers and two non-smokers.
Hoo: Perhaps there were two smokers and FOUR non-smokers.
Max: Well, then, what you’re saying, Mr. Hoo, is that there
could have been as many as fifty people in the room with the victim when
he was killed, provided only two of them were smokers.
Hoo: Exactly. (puts down ashtray, crosses to other side of the
Max: Boy, it must have been crowded in here. (two policemen walk
by and pick up their still-smoking cigarettes)
HOO: Moment please. Much can be learned from man from what he
carries on person. (lifts the sheet) Please to examine pockets, Mr.
MAX: (leans over, reappearing each time holding up item)
Wallet...handkerchief...comb...keys to my apartment...
HOO: One moment, Mr. Smart. Victim had keys to your apartment in
MAX: Oh, you wanted me to search his pockets
CRAW: Bobo, you may now press Mr. Smart’s head.
HOO: Moment please. (HOO, standing in the doorway with a
CRAW: Oh, it is you, Hoo!
HOO: We meet again, Mr. Craw.
CRAW: Craw! Not Craw! Craw!
MAX: Well, I see you two know each other.
HOO: Have followed this man’s trail for many years. Have
complete file on him, lacking in only one thing.
MAX: What item is that?
HOO: ...Complete set of fingerprints.
Don Hernando: What are you talking about? Are you mad? And how
dare you interrupt this important ceremony! Who is this foolish dancer?
Max: Dancer? I'm no dancer, your excellency. Look, I'll prove it
(Max executes a perfect pirouette)
Max: Maybe I am a dancer!
Control Agent: "Chief, they're still jamming us - all I can
get is Lawrence Welk music."
Chief: "KAOS knows no mercy."
Don Rickles (Max's army buddy, referring to President
I'll tell you something. I've never met him. But I use his talcum
Max: "I happen to be an expert in karate, judo and jui-jitsu. Would
you believe that I can break eight boards with one karate chop? No?
Would you believe three boards? How about a loaf of bread?"
Max: I have an uncanny ability to see through disguises. You know 99, what really gave you away was
your walk, your voice, your mannerisms. Also, the way you said two words.
99 (in blonde wig in Casablanca): What was that Max?
Max: The way you said 'I'm 99'
Max: Why don't we speak in Swahili?
Chief: As you wish. Mahani ganga gi.
Max: Ganga gi? I thought it was Ganga ga.
Chief: No, Ganga gi.
Max: Oh, that's strange. I thought it was gi after ganga unless
it came before goo.
||Ah yes, I remember the well' - Maxwell Smart, RIP